(the future isn't what it used to be)
(shall we dance?)
(cartoon boy, you look a lot like me)
(nothin' up my sleeve... presto!)
(photoshop is the opiate of the masses)
(misunderstanding comics)
(employee #24-601, listen closely!)
(choose your words)
(gwan, scram)
(he will never leave eurasia alive)
(a tepid substitute for human contact)

September 25 2000.
Good morning, and may I say just how very pleased I am to see you? Welcome to version five of Guardian. The site looks different and may feel different, because I feel different. See, here's the ticket:

I finished Chrono Cross today: a breathtaking game in every aspect. And as the credits rolled I thought to myself, "Self," I thought -- and I knew it was me, because I recognized the voice -- "Self, you should make games like this. To tell a story through art and sound and animation, to bring it to life through the player's actions... If only you were a professional game programmer!"

And then I paused. "Wait a minute. I am a professional game programmer."

Surely thoughts like that should be gone now that I've changed my life and become what I've always wanted to be? But that is very clearly not the case, because you can't just change your life and that's that. You don't get to sit back and believe you've won; if you want to truly achieve your dream you have to continue to change, every day. So be it: I'm changing. Or, rather, continuing to change. Project Apollo will hopefully, hopefully, be the next big step in that change, and there will be more about that when the time comes.

(And if you think it's silly to be inspired to deep, if admittedly incoherent, thoughts about your life by a video game... well, perhaps you're reading the wrong website.)

Another change is that I've realized just how terribly disconnected I've become from everyone, both on and offline. In a token attempt at healing that disconnect, I am bringing Guardian back to weekly updates as of right now. There may not always be new content of note but at least I'll have something to say and a nice big space to say it in. And if you're willing to put up with that... hey! Thanks a million. It means a lot to me.

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