Dear Weather Consortium that Controls the World's Weather,
I wish to inform you that you have accidentally delivered Seattle's rain and overcast to Philadelphia. This is interfering with my plans. You may have heard rumors about the targeting orders for your HQ that I am sending to my orbital ion cannon brigades; they are merely a precaution. A gentle hint, if you will.
I remain, etc.,
[scrawled signature]
I've been waiting to reach this page for ages!